There once was a land full of stupid people. This land was ruled by a smart president. The stupid people wanted to live their lives in safety, without the smart president interfering.
Now there was some angry people who hated the stupid people and wanted to kill them, so they sent some spies to pretend to be stupid people and figure out how to kill them. The angry spies called their angry leader with information. They made a bomb and killed some of the stupid people.
“This is bad,” said the smart president. “To find out which stupid people are really angry spies, I will send my grasshoppers to the people's houses, and whenever they call someone from another land, my bugs will come tell me what they said.”
For four years, the president's bugs listened and helped him stop the angry spies from killing any more stupid people. But one day, a stupid person called his grandmother in another land to say “Happy Birthday,” and he caught a bug listening to him.
He was mad, and told everyone, “The president is listening to our phone calls!”
This made all the stupid people mad. “How dare you!” they yelled at the president.
“I have to figure out which of you are angry spies!” he said.
“That's an invasion of privacy,” they said. “From now on, you can't send your grasshoppers to a house unless you have evidence that the person is an angry spy.”
“But how will I know who's a spy if I don't listen?”
“We don't know. You're the smart one.”
So the smart president stopped sending his bugs because it wasn't nice. The angry spies called their leader, but no one knew what they said. So they made a really big bomb, and all the stupid people died.
But they were happy. Death is a small price to pay for privacy.
9 comments:
Good one, Grizz!
That's truly brilliant!! I love it, three cheers!! *applause* If she doesn't read that tomorrow her taste for literature is very poor.
:D
-Sanguine
p.s.
of course as an egotistical and arrogant English major, i hope she reads mine too. ;)
That wasn't Goldilocks and the Three bears...was it. Hmmmm. I'm in the wrong reading room.
who be that peacemaker? and what happened to aeropostalgirl?
-The Swedish Eskimo
Peacemaker is the only guy I know who still calls Edmond Grizz. In fact, his bear name is Polar, and mine is, well, I don't remember. For the sake of anonimity, I'll give hints. He's tall, and blond, and drums alot. That should do it.
Otherwise, I have no idea where aeropostale girl went.
we never even got to figure out aero girl...drats. hey edmond, have you thought about putting this excerpt in a newspaper or something as an editorial? the idea occurred to me cuz of that book i'm reading...
oh yeah, and i have $10 to spend at borders, what should i get?
-Sanguine
get one of the Far Side Galleries.
-The Swedish Eskimo
aren't those things like $150?? i said $10 :) my neighbor is THE coolest ever!! she gave me my own copy of Pride and Prejudice, just randomly!
-sanguine
uh, where do you get $150 from? yeah, $10 should about cover it.
-The Swedish Eskimo
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